Monday, June 22, 2015
Friday, May 27, 2011
The WHYS of Expectations
Yup, he did it again. That bastard! I expected him to come home for dinner. I had cooked a meal and waited and waited and waited. THEN he got home and didn't even want to eat. Seriously! How could he do that to me. Again...AHHHHH... sound familiar?
Yeah, so I talked to someone about it and they said "negotiate the terms and let him know that is what you wish" So I did, and he agreed to eat wth me a few times a week even though he's not really a dinner eater.
But that felt unsatisfying. SUPER unsatisfying because now he was eating when he wasn't hungry just to make me happy. Lame.
Then it happened... yup that ah hah moment. A friend said to me.. why is it so important? Good question..why? She suggested that I thought that was a sign that we had good partnership. We have good partnership even when we don't eat together, and if we're having trouble eating together won't mend it.
What to do? Think about why you have an expectation then sort out a solution to that. I am not going to bring him lunch at work when I can and make that a together meal. He loves that idea!
SUPER!
Yeah, so I talked to someone about it and they said "negotiate the terms and let him know that is what you wish" So I did, and he agreed to eat wth me a few times a week even though he's not really a dinner eater.
But that felt unsatisfying. SUPER unsatisfying because now he was eating when he wasn't hungry just to make me happy. Lame.
Then it happened... yup that ah hah moment. A friend said to me.. why is it so important? Good question..why? She suggested that I thought that was a sign that we had good partnership. We have good partnership even when we don't eat together, and if we're having trouble eating together won't mend it.
What to do? Think about why you have an expectation then sort out a solution to that. I am not going to bring him lunch at work when I can and make that a together meal. He loves that idea!
SUPER!
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